She Knew
by peridotdream
Summary: One shot, companion to Inner Turmoil the day of the final chapter from Hermione's perspective, beginning when they leave Ginny.


**She Knew**

"What's going on? Why's she crying and acting all weird?" Ron asked as he tried to crane his neck to see Ginny, whom they'd left in the Entrance Hall. Hermione had a good grip on both boys' arms, and was leading them back to Gryffindor Tower in silence. "Hermione!" Ron said, too loudly. "I know you know what's going on!" She sighed,

"Unfortunately, Ron, this time I don't." She said soberly.

"What are you talking about?" Harry asked, suddenly very worried. "Then how could you let us leave her there crying?" Hermione shook her head,

"She wanted us to leave. She wasn't going to answer any of our questions, and you know it. Maybe she will next time we see her..." Hermione said softly, fearing the worst.

"Next time we see her? You mean lunch?" Ron asked, now utterly confused.

"Whenever it is we see her next, is all I meant." Hermione said casually, hoping that it would actually be before lunch...maybe Ginny would come back up to Gryffindor Tower before lunch and they could talk. With the N.E.W.T.s over, the seventh years had very little to do but celebrate, it was just the rest of the school who wasn't finished yet.

Ron tried to turn back, but Hermione tightened her grip on his arm.

"Ron, really. She's sixteen years old, let her do what she needs to do." Hermione chided. "She's allowed to cry if she wants to." Hermione knew there was more to it than that, that there was more to Ginny's tears than a breakup with a boyfriend or something trivial like that. Ginny didn't cry over boys...well, rarely, anyway.

"But what if she needs us?" Ron asked with concern. Hermione smiled at the back of his head as she walked behind him to make sure neither of them turned back. He always did worry about her...

"I don't think she needs us. I think she'll be ok..."

"But what if you're wrong?" Ron said worriedly.

"Then she'll come find us, don't you think?" They finally reached the portraithole and climbed through, one by one.

"Hey Ron, how about you go get the wizard's chess set you got for Christmas and we'll play." Harry suggested, all too casually for Hermione's liking. Ron complied, and as soon as he was out of earshot, Hermione's inkling was proven true, and Harry turned to her angrily. "Alright, spill it." He said sternly.

"Spill what?" Hermione asked defensively.

"Whatever it is that you know!"

"Harry! I don't know anything! You know as much as I do!" She cried.

"Oh, come on, Hermione. You always know more than we do - what's going on?" Hermione bit her lip nervously.

"That's just it..." she said quietly, looking at the wall behind him. "I don't know." Just then, Ron came down with his chess set and saw them standing together, Hermione looking sad and Harry looking angry.

"Did I miss something?" He asked honestly. Hermione just smiled up at him.

"No, you didn't miss anything." Harry said truthfully. Hermione decided that instead of watching them play chess for the umpteenth time this week, she'd read a book.

"I'll be back in a few minutes," she said, "I'm just going to run upstairs and get a book."

"Alright," Ron smiled as he sat down at a table, opposite Harry. Hermione smiled back at them and started up the stairs to her dormitory. Her mind was racing about what could possibly have happened to make Ginny so upset, and so closed. Hermione had tried to get her to open up in the short moment of eye contact they'd shared, but Ginny's walls were up, and she wouldn't let anything but sadness show through.

Hermione had noticed that Ginny hadn't said a word. Not one word. That was more unlike Ginny than anything else that had happened this year - secret boyfriends, sneaking out at night, becoming a Mediwitch, not playing Quidditch - not talking took the cake. Hermione couldn't understand what could possibly have happened that made her shut herself up like that...

And as Hermione walked into her room, she noticed a few pieces of paper on her bed. Folded, yellowed pieces of parchment with writing on them. They hadn't been there before breakfast.

Hermione moved toward her bed - away from her trunk where her book was, and picked up the parchments. She sifted through them, and saw a bunch of different names - Hermione, Harry, Ron, Mum and Dad. Four in all.

Hermione took note of Ginny's handwriting, and her hands began to shake. For the first time in her whole life, Hermione Granger's mind was blank. Maybe it was because she honestly had no idea what Ginny could possibly need to say that she couldn't say in person, maybe it was because she didn't want to think about it. Either way, Hermione had no idea what was written on the parchment, and her gut told her she didn't want to know.

Her hands were trembling with fear and anticipation as she put down the bottom three and opened the one with her name on it.

_Hermione -  
If you're reading this, that means I'm gone. I'm sorry, Hermione, I am. I'm so sorry...I just had to. I have to get out of here, out of this. I can't take it anymore, I'm not as strong as you guys are, and I don't know what to do. You know I love you - you're the sister I always wished for, and I'll always love you for that. But right now I have to go. Please don't cry, and please don't worry. I'll be ok, I promise. Please take care of Ron for me, I know he'll need you through this. Tell him I really am sorry, from the bottom of my heart. Tell him not to worry. Tell him I'll be ok, make him understand...I know if anyone can, you can. Please...just tell him for me? I wrote it all in his letter, but...he'll need you.  
Maybe someday I'll come back and explain, but for right now, this is goodbye. I need you to understand that my heart is breaking through this, 'Mione, it really is. I'm sorry...I just...I have to go.  
I'll always think of you,  
Ginny_

Hermione couldn't even hold the parchment any longer. The thin sheet of paper felt like it weighed tons in her fragile, shaking hand. Hermione didn't know what to think. Her limbs went numb and her stomach dropped. Her mind seemed to be blank at first, and then, after a moment, everything hit her like a ton of bricks.

Ginny was gone. Gone. And not planning on coming back. She'd left. Left her life. Completely. She was gone...how could she leave? Tears started pouring involuntarily down Hermione's face as she unfolded the other letters, trying to see if any of them differed from hers, if any of them showed Ginny having an inkling, or a plan of returning. But they were all the same. Filled with 'I love you's, and 'I'm sorry's, and 'Maybe someday's, and very little else.

Hermione read all four letters over and over for what felt like hours. She couldn't understand why Ginny had left...she'd been different all year, but...leaving? How could leaving be the answer? What about Ginny's family? What about Harry? What about school? What about...her? Hermione knew that last thought was selfish, but Ginny had been her best friend. She could tell Ginny anything and everything. She knew they'd been growing apart over the last year, and she didn't like it much, but she didn't have a choice. Searching for the horcruxes, dating Ron, and preparing for the N.E.W.T.s had taken up all her time. She must have urged Harry a million times to get back together with Ginny, to include her in their hunt - 'She's clever!', 'She can help!', 'She loves you!', Hermione would argue. But neither boy would hear any of it. They didn't want to put Ginny in harm's way, and as understandable and noble as that was...Hermione thought it was a bad idea from the start.

What was Ron going to say? And Harry? Oh no...they were going to run after her is what they were going to do. But where would they look? Hermione couldn't let them look...Ginny didn't want to be followed, nor did she want to be found...and they were so close to the last horcrux, they were almost there. A few more pensieve memories, a few more late nights and one more long journey, then Harry could face Voldemort and it would all be over. They were so close...

Hermione didn't know how long she sat up there, frozen on her bed, unable to think, unable to move, unable to do anything but stare and cry.

Finally, she got the energy to stand up, pick up three of the four letters, and walk down to the common room. She couldn't stop crying, and she couldn't speak. What would she say? Now she understood how Ginny had felt. There really were no words...

When she entered the common room, both boys looked up. A few other seventh years had come back and were lazily doing nothing around the room, but Hermione barely noticed them. All she saw was a blaze of red through her glassy eyes, and she focused on it.

"Hermione? We thought you forgot about us and ended up reading up there." Harry said jokingly. Hermione sniffed and both boys looked up at her, she hadn't moved from the bottom of the stairs. Suddenly they were both by her side, asking question after question. Hermione couldn't say anything, she just broke into muffled sobs as she handed them each a letter with their names on it.

The next few days were hell. All three went to the Burrow earlier than expected to be with the Weasley family - Harry and Hermione might as well have bene Weasleys by this point. They stayed together, barely leaving the house for anything, for an entire week.

Hermione knew that this had hit the two boys hard. But she also had an inkling that one day Ginny would be back. And she would tell her story. And maybe things would be ok...


End file.
